Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland - стр. 7

Then the Fish-Servant ran away. Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

'Why do you knock?' asked the Frog, 'I'm on the same side of the door as you are. And they're making such a noise inside, no one can possibly hear you.'

And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise within.

'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how to get in?'

'Are you sure you want to get in?' said the Frog. 'That's the first question, you know.'

'It's really dreadful,' Alice muttered to herself, 'they like to argue, these animals!'

The Frog said, 'I shall sit here, for days and days.'

'But what am I to do?' said Alice.

'Anything you like,' said the Servant, and began to whistle.

'Oh, he's idiotic!' said Alice desperately. And she opened the door and went in.

The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other. The Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, she was nursing a baby. The cook was leaning over the fire, there was a large cauldron full of soup.

'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, and began to sneeze.

Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and the baby was sneezing and howling all the time. Only the cook and a large cat did not sneeze. The cat was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

'Please can you tell me,' said Alice timidly, 'why does your cat grin?'

'It's a Cheshire cat[7],' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'

She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice jumped. But she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her. So she took courage, and went on again:

'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats could grin.'

'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of them do.'

'I don't know anything about it,' Alice said very politely.

'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.'

Alice did not like the tone of this remark. Meanwhile the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and began to throw everything at the Duchess and the baby-saucepans, plates, and dishes.

'Oh, please, don't do it!' cried Alice in terror. 'Oh, his precious nose!'

'Mind your own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse growl. 'Oh, don't bother me! Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, and threw the baby at her. 'I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty. She carried it out into the open air.

'If I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they will kill it in a day or two: it is murder to leave it there.'

She said the last words out loud, and the baby grunted in reply.

'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's impolite.'

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face. The baby sobbed (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on in silence.

'Now, what shall I do with the baby when I get it home?' said Alice when it grunted again. She looked down into its face. No mistake about it: it was a pig, and it was quite absurd for her to carry it further.

So she set the little pig down, and it trotted away quietly into the wood.