Two for tragedy. Volume 1 - стр. 20

I could not believe myself.

As I left the library and picked up my coat from the coat wardrobe, I couldn't help thinking how pleasant a conversation partner the hated Cedric Morgan had been. Yes, he was terribly late, but still… I realised that I had been wrong about him, and once and for all I decided not to form any opinion about him without even talking to him.

Henceforth, no prejudice! I had been mistaken, God knows what, about Cedric, though I had never spoken to him, and now I was ashamed of myself and of him. Of course he had made me lonely in the library, but when he came in, in spite of my annoyance at him, I noted that he was somewhat confused, but remained polite in response to my sarcastic remarks. When we were finally seated at the table, I looked more closely at Cedric Morgan. I had never seen him so close before, only from a distance, when he walked across the courtyard or up the stairs at the university, but I had never looked at him-it seemed indecent. Today, however, his face appeared before me in full light. And I was surprised to see that his skin was so white-so white, in fact, and not almost transparent, as it is in light-skinned people. And this white skin, as if on purpose, emphasised his dark, almost black as pitch black hair. Until this day, I had seriously thought that Cedric was selfish and that he didn't care about other people. But today Cedric had unwittingly, unknowingly, changed my opinion of himself. And this with a short conversation!

Our conversation was short, but I could hardly take my eyes off the guy's handsome face, as if he had hypnotised me with his cold blue eyes that looked like ice cubes. And yet, despite the coldness, Cedric's eyes radiated friendliness. I kept telling myself not to stare at him… I'd never liked guys with wavy hair, but Cedric's rather long and slightly dishevelled hair suited his cold, aloof appearance perfectly. I have to admit, I've never seen anyone as handsome as him. I hope he didn't notice me staring at him. I didn't mean to stare at him, it was more of an accident: when I'm talking, I always look at the person I'm talking to – it's a sign of attention.

Our next meeting was in two days' time, on Monday, and I hoped that over the weekend I would have prepared myself for the fact that Cedric Morgan's presence would not put me in a slight stupor, as it had done in our first session. I must remember that I was only meeting Cedric because of the programme and nothing more.

Now I understood why this aloof guy had so many admirers: it was like he was attracted to me, yet repulsive at the same time. No, I'm not one of these fools, but I'm just noting this fact – fairly and disinterestedly. Or maybe I'm being a bit sly to myself…

But no more dithyrambs! I'll just honestly admit to myself that, in fact, Cedric Morgan is a charming young man. I confess that I found it difficult to talk to him: I was afraid my voice would shake, so I tried to be brief and take care not to tell too much about myself. But that was at the beginning of our conversation: when it came to physics, I suddenly felt a surprising calmness, as if I had known Cedric all my life.

When I reached the stop to wait for my tram, I saw a black Toyota with tinted windows speeding past, and the people standing next to me grumbled disapprovingly. My first thought was that this daredevil was a real lunatic, but… Cedric Morgan has the exact same car. And he drives like that? Crazy. But maybe it wasn't Cedric, because his Toyota isn't the only one in Prague.