The Way to myself - стр. 9

My main discovery that time was understanding that “yes, the way I live is wrong”. It occurred that there are some major rules of the world, which I was breaking by ignorance… And with my usual passion and self-commitment, I commonly put to sports and business, I dived into self-development. Just like a stranger who’s just got back from a desert, I was consuming that new knowledge thirstily and couldn’t quite quench my thirst.

I studied the rules of healthy family relationships and the rules of eating healthy. I was interested in each and every sphere of life, and I tried to check everything on my own.

I’d say that was the first time ever when I believed that despite the well-known material world, there is another, spiritual one, which is higher and purer. And that world is just as real as the matter surrounding me.

Even though I studied diverse holy texts, I couldn’t understand: how were these ancient truths be connected to my own life? I found no answers in conversations with priests.

Once my wife suggested I try yoga. I didn’t know much about that, but I agreed: anyways, that was something new and interesting! I visited a class and was impressed. For the first time in several years, I finally felt better: relaxed, calm, easy.

Later on, thanks to yoga, body and breath exercises, my physical and mental states started changing for the better. I began studying that practice deeper. And even though I didn’t understand the full depth of it, I continued.

When my friends invited me to visit the Himalayas, I agreed. By that moment it seemed I had already visited everywhere: America, many countries in Europe and Asia, but I hadn’t been to India yet.

The country looked strange to me. Everywhere was poor and dirty, but the eyes of the citizens were somehow happy. “How come?” – I thought. “How can you be happy living in such conditions?”

So, we got to Rishikesh. Got some rest and went to the mountains. We reached the height of 3,500 meters to a holy place there. And, all of a sudden, I got an awkward feeling that I was in a jelly – that the space around me was dense and tough. That’s the way a crystal purity shows itself. And that actual purity was squeezing me out of myself. I’d even say it kicked me out – that’s how hard it was to stay in that place.

UNEXPECTEDLY, I UNDERSTOOD HOW MUCH DIRT AND SLAG THERE WAS IN MY BODY. I SAW THAT MY MIND IS, ACTUALLY, AN OVERWHELMED COMPUTER, WHICH HADN’T HAD ANY FREE SPACE FOR ANYTHING NEW FOR A LONG TIME.

I felt so bad, that I couldn’t walk forward anymore, fell behind, and finally went back to the place where we started.

For the next several days I felt literally ill, physically feeling worse, I’d say, than ever before: sickness, vomiting, all the body was just turning inside out… The only thing that was clear was: that it wasn’t a normal illness, but a physical cleansing. I realized – it was high time to change my life starting with food.

After I came back from the trip, I quit alcohol and meat, and started paying more attention to my health. The first months, of course, it was tough – I had to change too much in myself. Though, I got reassured that after making a decision, a man can break almost any unhealthy habit. Right, it will be hard for some time, but if you don’t surrender, after just a couple of months you will feel much better. And after a year, you’ll forget that there was a time when you were addicted to alcohol, slept late, loved fatty foods, and didn’t move much…