Possessed hearts - стр. 48
– Where did he go?
– Stockholm.
– Did he have business there? – I grinned.
Wow, he didn't want to see me so badly that he didn't even bother to throw his T-shirt in the wash, just left it in the living room! That's not nice.
– No, he's just giving me time and space to be with you," Misha replied with a smile, not taking her eyes off the road.
– What do you mean? – I asked in a nonchalant tone.
– I'd known for a long time that you can't stand each other's company. Don't deny it," Misha said cheerfully, glancing at me.
– Shit. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. But I was hoping you didn't realise that. How long have you known? – I was honest. I was embarrassed that she'd known all along. Knew and pretended not to notice.
– A long time. You've been avoiding each other so obviously! But it's okay. I've accepted it. I love my husband and I love you, and since you can't be in the same room without disliking each other, well… I'm fine with that system. – Misha smiled a calm smile and shrugged her shoulders.
I looked at my little sister and I found it hard to believe. Is that my Misha?
She's grown up so much. No longer the hyper-emotional girl who'd gone off to study at Oxford. In the eight years she's been married to Fredrik, she's changed. Why didn't I notice it before? I was used to thinking of her as a little sister – reckless, inexperienced, impulsive. But now I realised clearly that that little girl was gone. And it was a little hard for me to accept that. To accept that she had changed, while I was still the same.
– What?" she smiled, probably noticing my confusion.
– Nothing. I just think you've changed a lot," I replied with a smile.
– For the better, I hope?
– You've become calm and sensible. My little girl has grown up all of a sudden! – I patted her cheek. – No more tantrums?
– No, Fredrik's not that lucky so far. Sometimes I can't hold back my emotions. I try very hard, but I guess it's my nature!
We laughed good-naturedly. She was so sweet, my Misha. She was making jokes about herself. Marvellous.
"That's my nature," she said. What is my nature then? To be an evil bitch, ruining the lives of my own sister and mother? Oh, God. How does Misha tolerate my company? She's so beautiful, so innocent. An angel. I guess it's true that dirt is most noticeable when white shoes are shining clean next to them.
That's how we drove: me – dirt and lies, and Misha – beautiful snow-white sneakers. Riding along a beautiful clear lake, in the heart of a magical Swedish forest.
– Do you still drive the poor Mustang? – I changed the subject, for it was unbearable. For me.
– Yes. Fredrik loves it. He drives it. I have a motorbike.
– What? A motorbike? – I was pleasantly surprised. – Somehow I thought you'd have the Volvo Fredrik would have chosen for you!
– No, I didn't. This time his displeasure doesn't bother me. In everything else, of course, I'm always inferior to him. I know it's bad. But I love him so much. I don't know how to express it! But I'm not that naive girl anymore, and he has to accept that I have an opinion. I can feel that strength in me – the strength to say no," Misha said in a serious tone.
– That's right. No one should be in charge of your life but you, and I'm glad you're beginning to realise that. – Her words pleasantly surprised me. I was proud of her.