Afterglow. The Justification of Chaos - стр. 22
What if we had come a day earlier? What if our conversation with Givori had gone as originally planned? Would everything have been different? Would I have understood what was happening, even a little?
On the wall was an evacuation plan for a fire. I knew that sitting here was not an option. But it seemed there was no other way. Neither Sam nor Katherine could say anything useful to me, only confusing me further and fueling panic.
My stomach growled loudly. I turned around in fear…
“Are you hungry?” Sam asked with an expressionless face, though he was tense.
I shook my head, even though the only thing that had been in my stomach since the morning was a cup of second-rate coffee. At the mere mention of food, a sour taste filled my mouth, and my stomach turned. In front of me was the image beyond the glass. But the weakness in my body was undeniable. On the edge of consciousness, I knew I had to force myself to swallow something.
“Sam,” I said with some pleading in my voice, approaching him and sitting down beside him. “Sam, we will be saved, right? Did you hear Katherine’s conversation? Did you hear that help is coming?”
He cast a glance at me and clenched his teeth so tightly that the muscles in his face tensed; he remained silent for a few seconds. Then he let out a heavy breath and tried to force a semblance of a smile onto his face.
“Of course!” Sam nodded. “They’ll rescue us! I heard it myself. I heard it, Steph.”
“What exactly did they say?”
“Stephanie,” the guy shook his head. “Everything will be okay. Soon everything will become clear, and we’ll go back to living like we did before,” but before I could respond, Dort interrupted, more to himself, “But… live like before? How? With memories like these? I can’t imagine ever being able to sleep peacefully again. Or perceiving the world like I did before,” he faltered and looked at me, long and seriously. Katherine shifted and froze again; she was tossing and turning in her sleep, coughing, and moaning. Sam and I exchanged worried glances.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely and dully, as if it wasn’t my own voice. “What happened will change everything.”
My stomach growled unpleasantly, and we barely managed to eat a couple of crackers. Then, to distract myself, I grabbed the first book I could find from the shelf and began to read, stopping every minute to listen to the silence; however, I had grown accustomed to the hum of the lamps and the endless flickering of the lights. After a while, Sam started reading too, to kill the dragging minutes.
I scanned the sentences with my eyes, not understanding what was written. I looked at the letters but couldn’t read the words. My head hurt. A feeling of anxiety buzzed in my chest. Unnoticed by myself, I tapped my foot on the floor, tense. Time stretched on, and my emotions gradually dulled.
I spent the night in a state similar to oblivion. I remember how Katherine woke up a few times, how she had hysterics, and Sam and I tried to calm her down; how the light went out completely, and fear surged again. How I was afraid to open my eyes when those monsters started pounding on the door of the bookstore; how I sat, hugging my knees and trying not to cry. How distant sirens wailed above us. How the echoes of explosions resonated. How I wanted to run from this place. How Sam first slept while I kept watch, thinking I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. How Dort then took over my watch, and I lay on the floor, curled up, staring at one spot.